Archive for June, 2008

Haste

Jun 28 2008 Published by Phil LaDouceur under poetry

He’d been a patient man in every aspect of his life.

Kidnapped by pirates on his way to Asia Minor, he did not show despair, and he would banter easily with his captives. After he was ransomed, he told them that he was going to come back and crucify them.

He did. He had decided to do it, so it was only a matter of time.

He’d spent his money liberally, on public spectacles, nearly bankrupting himself, borrowing huge amounts. But he was patient. He knew it would pay off in the end. And it did, as he came to political office.

He went to Gaul. A whole country before him, filled with wild men, untamed. It took seven years, but he tamed them. Stamped out every trace of rebellion, that they stayed calm and obedient for hundreds of years.

He then waited, waited till he could wait no longer, crossing the Rubicon to Rome at the perfect moment. Not a day earlier, not a day later.

But one day leaving his house a man came and thrust a letter in his hand. But he was busy.

He had to be at the Senate, no time to read it.

A whole career built on patience, Caesar.

Why, at the end, were you so impatient to go to your death?

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Norm Green: Idea for Villain

Jun 22 2008 Published by Phil LaDouceur under short fiction

“Your a small man, Norm, and you shouldn’t forget that.”

Puglisi wasn’t a small man. He stood a good foot taller than Norm Green, Councilman of the city of St. Aquinas. He also had a good hundred pounds on him. He seemed even bigger at the moment, since Norm was sitting at his desk, apparently not having forgotten that he was a small man. He looked as though he was well aware of this fact, and also well aware of the fact that Puglisi was a very big man. But he did not look as though this fact impressed him.

“Lets start over here. What seems to be the problem?”

Puglisi glowered. “You’re supposed to be laundering our money through the public works projects, not skimming off the top for yourself. It’s unwanted attention that puts our investment in danger. We don’t like tricky investments. It gets tricky, we look for a different investment.”

“Look, I don’t know if you realize this, but I don’t really need your money to run a re-election campaign. I’m stepping down and taking over the Public Works. Just another bureaucrat, Puglisi. A poor public servant.” He grinned.”

“The Mayor can fire you…”

“The Mayor can’t shit without me telling him to.”

“So we find a different Mayor.”

Norm laughed, exceptionally hard. “No, I don’t think so. Because if you run someone against me, I’ll out him for being in your pocket. No one can trace anything to me. I laundered your money, and I made sure to launder the money that came to me. So…yeah. Good luck with that.”

Puglisi started to get red. “You’re turning into a big fish, huh? You’re a big fish in one of the smallest fucking ponds in the Midwest, Norm. And I think it’s time you remember that.” He started rolling up his sleeves.

“Oh, you’re going to steal my lunch money?”

Puglisi moved forward, leaning over the desk, forearms bulging. “Listen, cocksucker, you better call your spokesperson and tell them to let everyone know you were in a car wreck, because I’m going to…”

Puglisi vaguely registered the loud report of the pistol, then ceased all awareness. He fell to the ground, dead, bullet hole small in his forehead, yawning cavity out the back of his skull.

Norm, still sitting at his desk, calmly clutching the gun, looked at the two goons standing at the door who had come with Puglisi. They’d had no time to react, and now the man they were supposed to protect was dead.

“Anyone care to finish that little speech he was making?”

The two looked at each other, shrugged, and shook their heads.

“Good. I was hoping you’d be smart.” He leaned back, relaxing a bit, but still held the small pistol he’d pulled from his jacked. “I am a small man. And this is a small city. I have no illusions about being a big fish.” He looked out his window at the skyline of St. Aquinas.

“A man should be happy with things that suite his stature. And I’ll be happy having this city in my back pocket.”

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Why I’ve Been Listening to Casiotone for the Painfully Alone Way Too Much

Jun 07 2008 Published by Phil LaDouceur under music

I could try to go through the whole album (Etiquette), and tell you why this laid back, morose serving of melancholy deserves to be listened to (over and over again), but I’ll just pick the song that gets me the most: ‘Cold White Christmas’.

The song is about a young woman, 22 years old, living in Saint Paul. Which is kind of weird, because I was about 22 when I moved to the Twin Cities. While I hadn’t just graduated from college, I had decided to strike out on my own.

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