I’ve been pro-choice since I became aware of the issue, since even my preteen brain could grasp the pure stupidity of a person without a womb trying to make decisions for other people who have a womb.

But I’ve finally decided to reverse that decision, and now hereby call for the repeal of Roe v. Wade. As was explained by the Archangel Gabriel to me last night in a dream, while eating at a Dunkin’ Donuts, aborting a fetus before birth is reserved for God and God alone. For does it not say in the Gospel of Luke that the Lord “knew you even while you were in the womb?” For you are a person at conception, regardless of the opinions of certain Satanic jurists. And when God, in his total omnipotence, looks at you and lets you come forth from the womb and into the arms of your mother, it is God saying, “Alright, you’re cool.”

Or at least, it used to be. Now, having usurped God’s role, plucking fetus from womb like Eve plucking the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good & Evil, God has turned his back on us. God is no longer watching the door to Club Earth, people. They’re just letting anyone in now.

And this was abundantly clear to me yesterday, when I watched Paris Hilton show Ellen around her house. And in Paris Hilton’s house*, there is a picture of Paris Hilton. And it is made of thousands of little pictures of Paris Hilton.

How many Paris Hiltons will it take for you Godless bastards to let God cull the crowd with miscarriages again? You heartless sons of bitches, recant, recant of your Godlessness!

*A ‘house’ in the same way that the Mississippi is merely a ‘river’.

Note: Yes, I’m talking about miscarriage, which I realize can be an emotional subject. Paris Hilton makes me angry enough that I don’t care.

Now we just need to found that Mars colony.

Scientists in the US say they have developed the ability to selectively wipe out uncomfortable memories.

[From BBC NEWS | Americas | US scientists 'erase mice memory']

Well, you win some, you lose some:

Asked about her hopes for the US under an Obama presidency, she says: “Peace abroad. I don’t worry about the Iraq war because I can’t do anything about it. Lord knows how it will end.”

“It is very complicated,” she said. “Those Eastern people are not like we are.”

[From BBC NEWS | Americas | 106-year-old voter chooses Obama]

I’ll cut her some slack since she is 106 years old. And a nun. What a weird fucking election, eh? We’re probably going to end up with a president named Barack Hussein Obama. I’m not expecting much, but damn if I don’t get a kick out of the name.