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Sometimes I wish medieval writers had used Twitter.

Translation of below: We stole the idea of stealing Saint Nicholas from the Venetians. They suck. We rock.

When Alexius was Emperor, and the foreign and infidel hordes that had migrated through the Roman Empire were being pacified’ and the bold Normans who had voyaged thither had been beaten and dispersed, certain citizens of the city of Bari, moved by a divine inspiration, purposed to sail in their merchant ships to Antioch, a city situated in Coele, in Syria. This they undertook not for selfish profit, but for a laudable and praiseworthy work – a work worthy of mention, O the marvel of it! For it delights my heart and what I have to say will soar aloft on lightsome wing. For they had the intention – and bless them for their prudence, bless them for their good choice! – instead of pursuing mercantile and selfish interests, to cast anchor at Myra and remove the manna-receiving and fragrant remains of our blessed, thrice-happy and inspired Father, and so, this accomplished, to possess and take pride in him as in a great fortune and inseparable treasure. Now, this was, as a matter of fact, the purpose of our Venetian brothers also, even though the deed had been accomplished by the men of Bari. For blessed is not he who begins a thing and does not finish it, but blessed is he who says and does and accomplishes good. In such wise it was, then, that they who heard of the plan of the Venetians were the first to attain the favor. For though the Venetians were bent on taking that goodly treasure and bringing it back to their homeland, the good God did not allow it so to be accomplished, but their plan and its fulfillment was given to the men of Bari, while the conception of the Venetians developed unaccomplished and unactuated .

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